{"id":2356,"date":"2015-02-26T13:25:15","date_gmt":"2015-02-26T21:25:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/?p=2356"},"modified":"2024-02-08T04:21:49","modified_gmt":"2024-02-08T12:21:49","slug":"raise-self-worth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Raise Your Self Worth"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"raise<\/a>When we were in our very early 20’s, my friend Catherine and I were working together as tech journalists in Silicon Valley. It was the first tech boom,\u00a0we were recently out of college and people around us had lots and lots of money. People who were 24 years old were worth many\u00a0millions of dollars, but we, two grammar geeks who worked as reporters for an online\u00a0dot com journal\u00a0were worth much, much less. At least on paper.<\/p>\n

One day, while we were working together on an article about the Diamond Rio\u00a0Mp3 player<\/a> (you could listen to 14 songs straight! No tape! No CD!)\u00a0\u00a0Catherine, who had been the valedictorian at both her high school and her college just broke down crying. As I said, we were in our early 20’s and breaking down crying at work at that age is socially acceptable as it’s always okay to have an existential crisis. I asked her why she was crying and she said, “I have no idea what I’m worth.”
\n“What does that mean?” I asked her.
\n“Well, I used to know exactly what I was worth. Somewhere between 4.2 and 4.4. But now, I’m not graded on life and I only make $2,000 a month. So what am I worth? How will I know? How will I know how I’m doing in life\u00a0without grades?”
\n“I think,” I told her, “I think we’re supposed to know how we’re doing by how happy we are, I think we’re supposed to let our happiness be a barometer of how things are going.”
\n“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” she said.<\/p>\n

And I guess that’s the thing. I guess that we all start out being graded and we just keep going with it. We let numbers dictate how we feel. \u00a0Whether it’s the number on the scale, the size of our jeans, the amount of calories or carbs we ate, the size of our paychecks, the number of men or women we’ve slept with, the square footage of our house, the cost of our car, the number of carats\u00a0in our engagement rings, what kinds of grades our kids our getting, how fast our most recent marathon time is…<\/p>\n

After healing from my food and body image issues,\u00a0I had really felt that I stopped allowing numbers to dictate my life. But I realized that I hadn’t. A few weeks ago, I checked my amazon stats to see how my book was selling. For whatever reason, it happened to be a bad week for book sales. \u00a0I was crushed. I started to tie up my self-worth to my book sales, thinking that not only did my book suck, but I sucked. I really let myself get down in the dumps about information\u00a0totally unrelated to who I was as a person, how I lived my life and what my values were. Later that evening, I got a beautiful email from a reader telling me that my book had changed her life. And then I remembered. I remembered that I wasn’t about sales or numbers or stats, I was a person. And that I do what I do because I care about other people. But I’d forgotten and I’d tied up my self-worth to silly things like book sales and blog stats. Then I realized the irony of it. I tell people all the time that their self-worth is not tied to some arbitrary number on a machine based on nothing and yet, I allowed my own self-worth to be tied up in that.\u00a0It was a huge reality check for me.\u00a0\u00a0So I asked myself a few questions.<\/p>\n

1. What are your values?
\n2. Are you living up to your values?
\n3. What more could you be doing to be more of who you want to be?<\/p>\n

I remembered that my values were about my husband, my children, my family and helping people, and that numbers had nothing to do with any of this. I remembered that I was living up to my values and that I didn’t need to be graded on this and I remembered that I wanted to do more of this. So I chose to stop looking at my book stats unless my kids were asleep and to make sure that my time with my kids was valuable and loving. That felt good and it felt right and it helped me to get out of the slump of numbers.<\/p>\n

Your self worth is also not tied up in numbers.<\/p>\n

Ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n

1. What are your values? Name the most important values in your life.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0Where do you find your value?<\/p>\n

3. What do you value in others? What makes others worthy and valuable in your mind.<\/p>\n

4. Where do you find your worth?<\/p>\n

5. What are things that you do or can do every day to help you feel your true and authentic value?<\/p>\n

Write them down and answer them one by one, thoughtfully. Then, each day, ask yourself, “How am I being true to myself? How am I living in alignment with my value system? How am I being who I want to be? What can I do to be more in line with my authentic self? What is the one thing I can do today to help me really be me, the one thing that it is not number based….” Then do that thing, even if it is as simple as calling your Grandma, or hugging your kids or picking up a piece of litter in the street. When you define your intrinsic values and live according to them, you begin to really feel your self worth and you also let go of jealousy and trying to measure up. Try it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we were in our very early 20’s, my friend Catherine and I were working together as tech journalists in Silicon Valley. It was the first tech boom,\u00a0we were recently out of college and people around us had lots and lots of money. People who were 24 years old were worth many\u00a0millions of dollars, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4356,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,21,23,25],"tags":[859,856,858,857],"yoast_head":"\nBinge Eating Therapy - Help for binge eating, bulimia, obsessive dieting and body image issues<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you ever feel that your value is tied up in how much money you make, how much you weigh, how big your house or your car is? It doesn't have to be...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Raise Your Self Worth\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do you ever feel that your value is tied up in how much money you make, how much you weigh, how big your house or your car is? It doesn't have to be...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Binge Eating Therapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-02-26T21:25:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-02-08T12:21:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/img-111.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"626\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"418\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Leora Fulvio\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Leora Fulvio\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/\",\"name\":\"How To Raise Your Self Worth\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-02-26T21:25:15+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-02-08T12:21:49+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#\/schema\/person\/da23116b77662a72e9cd767cfd12a73d\"},\"description\":\"Do you ever feel that your value is tied up in how much money you make, how much you weigh, how big your house or your car is? It doesn't have to be...\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Raise Your Self Worth\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/\",\"name\":\"Binge Eating Therapy\",\"description\":\"Help for binge eating, bulimia, obsessive dieting and body image issues\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#\/schema\/person\/da23116b77662a72e9cd767cfd12a73d\",\"name\":\"Leora Fulvio\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c2225793eeaf0010b256c5ad563b6586?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c2225793eeaf0010b256c5ad563b6586?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Leora Fulvio\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/author\/admin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Binge Eating Therapy - Help for binge eating, bulimia, obsessive dieting and body image issues","description":"Do you ever feel that your value is tied up in how much money you make, how much you weigh, how big your house or your car is? It doesn't have to be...","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How To Raise Your Self Worth","og_description":"Do you ever feel that your value is tied up in how much money you make, how much you weigh, how big your house or your car is? It doesn't have to be...","og_url":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/","og_site_name":"Binge Eating Therapy","article_published_time":"2015-02-26T21:25:15+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-02-08T12:21:49+00:00","og_image":[{"width":626,"height":418,"url":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/img-111.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Leora Fulvio","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Leora Fulvio","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/","url":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/","name":"How To Raise Your Self Worth","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-02-26T21:25:15+00:00","dateModified":"2024-02-08T12:21:49+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#\/schema\/person\/da23116b77662a72e9cd767cfd12a73d"},"description":"Do you ever feel that your value is tied up in how much money you make, how much you weigh, how big your house or your car is? It doesn't have to be...","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/raise-self-worth\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Raise Your Self Worth"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/","name":"Binge Eating Therapy","description":"Help for binge eating, bulimia, obsessive dieting and body image issues","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#\/schema\/person\/da23116b77662a72e9cd767cfd12a73d","name":"Leora Fulvio","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c2225793eeaf0010b256c5ad563b6586?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c2225793eeaf0010b256c5ad563b6586?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Leora Fulvio"},"url":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/img-111.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2356"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2356"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2356\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2358,"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2356\/revisions\/2358"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4356"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}