{"id":3381,"date":"2019-07-04T00:22:00","date_gmt":"2019-07-04T07:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/?p=3381"},"modified":"2024-02-06T23:05:38","modified_gmt":"2024-02-07T07:05:38","slug":"eating-disorders-and-anxious-attachment-whats-the-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/eating-disorders-and-anxious-attachment-whats-the-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Eating Disorders and Anxious Attachment \u2013 What\u2019s the Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Have you ever been \u201cthat girl\u201d who was so in love with \u201cthat boy\u2026\u201d\u00a0the one who\u00a0you were going to marry and make babies with? You loved him so much that you thought of him all the time.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t stop talking about him\u2026 you checked your phone constantly to see if he\u2019d texted you. And when he didn\u2019t you became anxious, scared and depressed. You stressed over it with all your friends, analyzing every text, every word he ever said to you, thinking about what you must have done wrong to make him not text you? You knew that his lack of communication was the beginning of the end. You pretended it wasn\u2019t. You kept texting him \u2013 asking if you were still on for Friday\u2026 what he was up to,\u00a0thought of excuses to text him or run into him.<\/span><\/p>\n

And finally \u2013 you get together with him and he tells you, \u201cthis just isn\u2019t working for me\u2026\u201d and you say \u201cwhat? why? What did I do????\u201d\u00a0\u00a0and he says, \u201cyou\u2019re great! I wish I could, but I just don\u2019t feel the same way about you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut you did!\u201d you tell him, \u201cyou used to! how did your feelings just change? just like that? you lied to me! feelings can\u2019t just change!\u201d you insist.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry he tells you.\u201d And you cry. You cry a lot.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut we\u2019ve only been dating for like 2 months!\u201d he says<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c10 weeks!\u201d you tell him.<\/span><\/p>\n

He leaves and you are sitting by yourself at the restaurant crying hysterically. The food in front of you no longer seems appetizing. You can\u2019t eat and so you don\u2019t eat\u2026 for days. And then you become addicted to not eating, sure that if you lose the weight that you think you need to, that then he will love you. Doesn\u2019t matter if you are 18 or 81. This is an anxious attachment style.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0I don\u2019t want to get much into attachment theory here \u2013 but in a few sentences, our attachment style\u00a0corresponds\u00a0to how we related to our primary caregivers as children and how we then translate that\u00a0into our\u00a0adult relationship patterns.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For our purposes here, I\u2019ll focus on an anxious attachment style. I will also focus on women. While there certainly are many men who have anxious attachment schema, they do tend to be more on the avoidant spectrum. Avoidants and anxious styles seem to attract each other like gnats to a light in summer, thus creating a deeply charged and often dramatic relationship patterns. Both syles tended to have parents\u00a0who were highly critical,\u00a0preoccupied with other things and\u00a0 inconsistent\u00a0in their parenting and in the way they showed love.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*Jessica (not her real name) grew up with a narcissistic father who left her mother when Jessica was 18 months old.\u00a0 At the age of thirty, when he came into his full trust fund, he\u00a0decided to\u00a0move from their home in Massachusetts to Los Angeles for a more fun life.\u00a0 Jessica\u2019s mother, his college sweetheart,\u00a0 stayed behind in Massachusetts both angry and bitter. Jessica\u2019s father came to visit her once every few months and when he did, Jessica and he had the most fun together. He would take her into Boston, they\u2019d eat at the Hard Rock Cafe, they\u2019d ride on the Swan Boats, they\u2019d get ice cream in Faneuil Hall, they\u2019d\u00a0shop in Harvard Square, go to the Children\u2019s Museum! It was a magical escape for 48 hours. And then, he\u2019d\u00a0\u00a0drop her home at her mother\u2019s angry apartment where Jessica\u2019s Mom would yell and scream and get angry at Jessica for being happy and liking her father. She felt that Jessica was being disloyal.\u00a0 Often she\u2019d even hit her.\u00a0 Jessica didn\u2019t want her mother to be mean, so she became hyper-compliant, doing everything that she possibly could to keep her mother even and calm. She believed that it was her responsibility to behave in a certain way and anticipate her mother\u2019s moods so that she could keep herself safe. Her father was her savior, swooping in about four times a year to spend a magical weekend with her. She dreamed of her father coming and taking her away from the misery and darkness of her mother\u2019s sad life. When Jessica\u2019s father got remarried, he stopped coming to visit. He\u2019d say that he was coming to visit but then cancel last minute. Jessica remembers spending a whole month excited about her father coming to see her and then, on the day that he was due to arrive, while she was waiting in her room for him to show up, the phone rang. Her mother came in and told her that her Dad wasn\u2019t coming. \u201cJust couldn\u2019t get away!\u201d he told her. \u201cIt\u2019s okay Daddy. Will you come again?\u201d \u201cOf course I will,\u201d he told her. Once or twice\u00a0a year or so, Jessica would board a plane and travel the seven hours all by herself from Logan to LAX to spend a few weeks in the summer with Dad and Katrina, his supermodel wife. Katrina didn\u2019t like Jessica and Jessica didn\u2019t like Katrina.\u00a0 Her Dad would ignore her\u00a0unless he was yelling at her to be nice\u00a0tell to Trina. Trina told Jess\u2019s Dad that Jessica was jealous of her and then Jess\u2019s Dad would yell at her about not being so jealous. Jessica had no idea what she had done wrong. But her life had become sad, lonely and the person who used to save her from her angry mother had abandoned her.\u00a0 Mostly Jess stayed home with the housekeeper and ate Tamales and beans and ice cream while watching television. Trina told Jessica\u2019s Dad to stop her from eating so much, said that she was getting fat. Asked him how he could have such an ugly daughter. Eventually Katrina became pregnant and once they had their own family,\u00a0 Jess stopped coming at all and her father stopped visiting.\u00a0 Jess believed that her father stopped seeing her because she wasn\u2019t good enough and didn\u2019t try hard enough. She was too fat, too ugly, too jealous, too needy. That in order to be loved, Jess had to look like a Katrina. This was validated for her as her father had left Jess\u2019s Mom who looked nothing like a supermodel and discarded Jess who, like her Mom looked nothing like a supermodel.<\/span><\/p>\n

This set the springboard for Jess\u2019s attachment style. She had the double whammy of both anxious attachment and seeing men as saviors \u2013 the only thing that could save her from her terrible life.\u00a0 Neither\u00a0her father\u00a0nor her mother\u00a0were\u00a0capable of giving\u00a0her the sort of mirroring or unconditional love that all children need. Not because she didn\u2019t deserve it, but because they were not\u00a0able to\u00a0\u00a0due to their own issues.\u00a0 Her parents had preoccupied\u00a0attachment patterns \u2013 unable to consistently give her the love and support she needed.\u00a0 It then led to Jess having an insecure\/anxious attachment style.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adults who have this attachment style\u00a0 tend to be highly self-critical and insecure. They\u00a0believe that they need constant\u00a0approval\u00a0from the people around them and will do whatever they can to seek out that\u00a0reassurance from people around them. However, no matter how much reassurance they get, they never seem to be able to feel steady and safe. Their self-doubt is alleviated only briefly and then they become anxious for more reassurance.\u00a0 They deeply believe that they will be rejected and thus they do what they can do avoid that sort of abandonment. , yet this never relieves their self-doubt. They then become extremely clingy with their partners which in turn creates the opposite of the desired effect and drives their partners away. They then have the reinforcement that they are worthless. Often, they then take up the role of the pursuer in their relationship believing that the people around them are somehow \u201cbetter\u201d than they are.\u00a0 Often, they then do things to change themselves in order to increase their sense of self-worth or in order to look or seem\u00a0formidable in the eyes of the person they are pursuing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our friend Jessica in this case became obsessed with her weight and obsessed with achievement. She wanted to be seen by her father as acceptable and seen by boyfriends as worthy of love. She exercised obsessively, ran marathons, rose to the top ranks of her law firm before the age of 30 and yet\u2026 she would still be that girl who was getting drunk and blowing up the phone of the boy she had just met slept with the night before. When she came to me she told me that she was having trouble getting over a guy and that she couldn\u2019t make sense of it. She started dating Richard a few months prior. Richard was a \u201cpainter\u201d who lived off his parents trust fund and mostly spent his days getting high and playing video games and possibly painting.\u00a0 She thought that she had found \u201cthe one.\u201d\u00a0 She described him as a brilliant artist and showered him with love, attention, gifts \u2013 so many gifts\u2026 she cleaned his house while he was playing video games, did his laundry, cooked him meals and expected that he would\u00a0think that she\u00a0was the most irresistible wife ever. I mean, she could bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan. But he started pulling away after awhile and then one day, after not seeing each other for a week and him dodging her calls and her texts, she asked him if she could come over. He said that he was home sick, bad head cold. So she made homemade bone broth, cookies from scratch and brought them over to his house. When he answered the door, he was in his boxers and there was a woman behind him wearing one of his tee-shirts.\u00a0 And there was a scene. Jessica cried and screamed, \u201chow could you how could you?\u201d\u00a0 Richard said, \u201cwhy are you so upset? It\u2019s not like we were exclusive. We\u2019ve only known each other for what? Two weeks?\u201d\u00a0 According to Jess, the girl just snickered in the background.<\/span><\/p>\n

Richard texted her a few weeks later and\u00a0she went right back\u00a0to his house for a rendezvous. Then he\u2019d blow her off. This pattern lasted for a few years. Every time he texted her, she was happy and felt great. And then, after a few weeks of not hearing from him, she\u2019d get anxious and on a few occasions she had full blown panic attacks.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the meantime, she\u2019d do everything she could to be \u201cgood enough\u201d for Richard. She\u2019d starve herself for weeks on end, she\u2019d run several miles a day or do back-to-back Soul Cycle classes\u00a0and then she\u2019d wind up bingeing on foods she had been restricting herself from.\u00a0 Her eating disorder was a way to manage her anxious attachment. She believed that when she made herself \u201cgood enough\u201d that she\u2019d feel better.\u00a0 The\u00a0eating disorder behaviors\u00a0<\/em>helped to mitigate the anxiety that she was feeling about being rejected and all the beliefs that she had underneath that\u2026 those beliefs that told her that she wasn\u2019t good enough, that had she been a better human being, her father wouldn\u2019t have rejected her and her mother wouldn\u2019t have been so angry all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

So when we think about this, what do we see as the two over-arching emotions? Love and fear.\u00a0 Fear of not being loved. The fear then overtakes\u00a0everything and becomes bigger than the love. Jessica never even stopped to think about how she really felt about Richard. Had she really thought about it, she would have realized that she actually didn\u2019t love him or even really like him and definitely didn\u2019t respect him. She was just afraid that he wouldn\u2019t love her. And she craved love significantly. However, when someone really did love her, it didn\u2019t feel real because as a child, she associated love with rejection and abuse and she lived out those relationships over and over again. Her angry mother and her rejecting father set the stage for how she valued herself and how she believed she was supposed to be treated.<\/span><\/p>\n

In our work together, we helped Jessica\u00a0to\u00a0understand that she was perfect and whole and complete in that moment and that people who were rejecting and avoidant probably weren\u2019t the people she wanted to be with, but the people who felt familiar and thus REAL to her. As her own sense of self love grew, she began to seek out relationships with men who had a more secure attachment style. So there were no texting games or manipulations or playing on her weaknesses, but a less exciting, yet more even-keeled relationship. As she got into these more balanced relationships, her relationship with herself and her relationship with food and exercise began to balance itself out as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

The most important parts of healing anxious attachment are not putting your own self worth in the hands of someone else. When you define your own values and decide what makes you find another human being valuable to you (is it living off a trust fund and getting high and playing video games all day?) You can then allow yourself to unfold into the person who you really are and really love and respect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jessica defined her personal values and kindness, compassion and advocacy. As she allowed herself to be that person (and it was so easy because that\u2019s who she naturally was) she also found someone who loved her for her. She didn\u2019t believe that she had to change for him and he shared her values.<\/span><\/p>\n

Define your personal values and allow yourself to just be that human being. Not for anyone else, but just for you. Being your authentic self is easy because honestly, it\u2019s all you have ever really known or wanted .\u00a0 As this happens, you will find that who you really are unfolds beautifully. And then your next relationship is easier. you don\u2019t have to be anything for anyone else, but allowing the person who is most right for you comes naturally.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever been \u201cthat girl\u201d who was so in love with \u201cthat boy\u2026\u201d\u00a0the one who\u00a0you were going to marry and make babies with? You loved him so much that you thought of him all the time.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t stop talking about him\u2026 you checked your phone constantly to see if he\u2019d texted you. And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3384,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,79,8,604,88,941,11,14,947,930,413,167,17],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBinge Eating Therapy - Help for binge eating, bulimia, obsessive dieting and body image issues<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/eating-disorders-and-anxious-attachment-whats-the-relationship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Eating Disorders and Anxious Attachment \u2013 What\u2019s the Relationship?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Have you ever been \u201cthat girl\u201d who was so in love with \u201cthat boy\u2026\u201d\u00a0the one who\u00a0you were going to marry and make babies with? 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