![\"People](\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/dontlike_eat.png\")
Why Don\u2019t People Like Me?<\/span><\/h2>\nAnd What Can I Do About it?<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\nWhat has always been generally accepted in the thinking about eating disorders is that they are about \u201ccontrol.\u201d But what does that mean? Is it about controlling food? Not really, food is just the symptom. What control means at its core in eating disorders, is trying to control what other people think about you. We stop focusing on the people who love us and start to hyper focus on the people who are judgmental, critical and spend our time trying to make them like us. The critical people outside of us mimic the voice of an internal critic and we want to do anything in our power to make them like us.<\/span><\/p>\nThe Diet Starts to Control What Other People Think About You<\/span><\/h5>\nThis is\u00a0why<\/em>\u00a0the diet starts. You want people to think that you are\u2026 (fill in the blank \u2013 beautiful, in control, happy, have your life together\u2026 etc.) I remember when I went on my first diet as a 9 year old. I was being bullied in school and I thought that if I was really skinny that then no one could make fun of me. I\u2019d be impermeable to taunting. I\u2019d be invisible or better yet, beautiful. And this turned into another 15 years of dieting\/restricting\/bingeing until I finally recovered.<\/span><\/p>\nRelated:<\/span>\u00a0How To Stop Caring What Other People Think of Your Body<\/a><\/h6>\nWhat I have discovered in working as a psychotherapist is that people have varying degrees of worrying about whether or not people like them or are judging them or criticizing them or think that they are not good enough, not smart enough, too fat, etc. It rules people\u2019s lives. For example, one woman won\u2019t break up with her boyfriend because she is afraid of what people will think about her being a 43 year old woman who is single. But she\u2019s not happy in her relationship. Another woman doesn\u2019t want to eat because she is afraid that if she\u2019s not skinny people will think that she is unworthy. Another man thinks that if he quits his high paying job that is literally giving him ulcers, that he won\u2019t be able to give his family enough and people will think he\u2019s incapable. And social media makes everything so. much. worse. Because then you are spending 24\/7 thinking about how to present yourself in the best possible way so that you can control people\u2019s assumptions about you.<\/span><\/p>\nBut what if you didn\u2019t care what people thought? What if you realized that they were just scrolling through and trying to see how many likes they got and to figure out if they got more or less than you or someone else?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\nBut What Can I Do When Someone REALLY Does Not Like Me?<\/span><\/h5>\nAnd what if\u00a0 you come to find a person who really just does not like you? What if? Here\u2019s the thing. There is nothing you can do about it. You can\u2019t force someone to like you. You can\u2019t do things to change their mind. I mean, you might be able to, but honestly- why? That seems like a huge amount of time to spend trying to change someone\u2019s mind when you could have spent them time on yourself. When we start to worry too much about what people think about us, we become their servants. They have power over us. We don\u2019t make decisions on our own accord, we make them for others.<\/span><\/p>\n
The Diet Starts to Control What Other People Think About You<\/span><\/h5>\nThis is\u00a0why<\/em>\u00a0the diet starts. You want people to think that you are\u2026 (fill in the blank \u2013 beautiful, in control, happy, have your life together\u2026 etc.) I remember when I went on my first diet as a 9 year old. I was being bullied in school and I thought that if I was really skinny that then no one could make fun of me. I\u2019d be impermeable to taunting. I\u2019d be invisible or better yet, beautiful. And this turned into another 15 years of dieting\/restricting\/bingeing until I finally recovered.<\/span><\/p>\nRelated:<\/span>\u00a0How To Stop Caring What Other People Think of Your Body<\/a><\/h6>\nWhat I have discovered in working as a psychotherapist is that people have varying degrees of worrying about whether or not people like them or are judging them or criticizing them or think that they are not good enough, not smart enough, too fat, etc. It rules people\u2019s lives. For example, one woman won\u2019t break up with her boyfriend because she is afraid of what people will think about her being a 43 year old woman who is single. But she\u2019s not happy in her relationship. Another woman doesn\u2019t want to eat because she is afraid that if she\u2019s not skinny people will think that she is unworthy. Another man thinks that if he quits his high paying job that is literally giving him ulcers, that he won\u2019t be able to give his family enough and people will think he\u2019s incapable. And social media makes everything so. much. worse. Because then you are spending 24\/7 thinking about how to present yourself in the best possible way so that you can control people\u2019s assumptions about you.<\/span><\/p>\nBut what if you didn\u2019t care what people thought? What if you realized that they were just scrolling through and trying to see how many likes they got and to figure out if they got more or less than you or someone else?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\nBut What Can I Do When Someone REALLY Does Not Like Me?<\/span><\/h5>\nAnd what if\u00a0 you come to find a person who really just does not like you? What if? Here\u2019s the thing. There is nothing you can do about it. You can\u2019t force someone to like you. You can\u2019t do things to change their mind. I mean, you might be able to, but honestly- why? That seems like a huge amount of time to spend trying to change someone\u2019s mind when you could have spent them time on yourself. When we start to worry too much about what people think about us, we become their servants. They have power over us. We don\u2019t make decisions on our own accord, we make them for others.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related:<\/span>\u00a0How To Stop Caring What Other People Think of Your Body<\/a><\/h6>\nWhat I have discovered in working as a psychotherapist is that people have varying degrees of worrying about whether or not people like them or are judging them or criticizing them or think that they are not good enough, not smart enough, too fat, etc. It rules people\u2019s lives. For example, one woman won\u2019t break up with her boyfriend because she is afraid of what people will think about her being a 43 year old woman who is single. But she\u2019s not happy in her relationship. Another woman doesn\u2019t want to eat because she is afraid that if she\u2019s not skinny people will think that she is unworthy. Another man thinks that if he quits his high paying job that is literally giving him ulcers, that he won\u2019t be able to give his family enough and people will think he\u2019s incapable. And social media makes everything so. much. worse. Because then you are spending 24\/7 thinking about how to present yourself in the best possible way so that you can control people\u2019s assumptions about you.<\/span><\/p>\nBut what if you didn\u2019t care what people thought? What if you realized that they were just scrolling through and trying to see how many likes they got and to figure out if they got more or less than you or someone else?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\nBut What Can I Do When Someone REALLY Does Not Like Me?<\/span><\/h5>\nAnd what if\u00a0 you come to find a person who really just does not like you? What if? Here\u2019s the thing. There is nothing you can do about it. You can\u2019t force someone to like you. You can\u2019t do things to change their mind. I mean, you might be able to, but honestly- why? That seems like a huge amount of time to spend trying to change someone\u2019s mind when you could have spent them time on yourself. When we start to worry too much about what people think about us, we become their servants. They have power over us. We don\u2019t make decisions on our own accord, we make them for others.<\/span><\/p>\n
But what if you didn\u2019t care what people thought? What if you realized that they were just scrolling through and trying to see how many likes they got and to figure out if they got more or less than you or someone else?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n And what if\u00a0 you come to find a person who really just does not like you? What if? Here\u2019s the thing. There is nothing you can do about it. You can\u2019t force someone to like you. You can\u2019t do things to change their mind. I mean, you might be able to, but honestly- why? That seems like a huge amount of time to spend trying to change someone\u2019s mind when you could have spent them time on yourself. When we start to worry too much about what people think about us, we become their servants. They have power over us. We don\u2019t make decisions on our own accord, we make them for others.<\/span><\/p>\nBut What Can I Do When Someone REALLY Does Not Like Me?<\/span><\/h5>\n