{"id":99,"date":"2010-08-05T08:51:27","date_gmt":"2010-08-05T15:51:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/?p=99"},"modified":"2024-02-15T00:58:28","modified_gmt":"2024-02-15T08:58:28","slug":"the-grief-of-recovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/the-grief-of-recovery\/","title":{"rendered":"The Grief Of Recovery"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/1229803017tnmn5vz.jpg\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-113\" title=\"1229803017tNMN5vZ\" src=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/1229803017tnmn5vz.jpg?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"234\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/1229803017tnmn5vz.jpg 679w, https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/1229803017tnmn5vz-300x234.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Saying goodbye to an eating disorder isn&#8217;t easy&#8211; that&#8217;s an understatement. There is a giant grieving process that goes along with it. When you decide to let go of binge eating, you are letting go of something that you feel has been a best friend, a lover, an ally, always there when you need it, always consistent. Letting go of that is certainly challenging. There will be a big part of you that just doesn&#8217;t want to give that up. Food can be more reliable than people. It will always elicit a similar\u00a0 response, it&#8217;s always there, it&#8217;s always comforting. Of course, you know that these comforts are no more than temporary, and sometimes not even that. So, being ready to let go of binge eating and bulimia can be a humbling experience as you begin to delve into your recovery and understand more about who you are outside of this eating disorder.<\/p>\n<p>These changes won\u2019t just be challenging for you, they will be for anyone around you. There will be a mourning period when you let go of your old ways of being. As you go through the stages of grief you will find that the people around you are going through their own grieving process as they don\u2019t want to let go of the \u201cold\u201d you.<\/p>\n<p>For you, the grieving process might look like this:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Denial<\/strong>: I don\u2019t need to do anything different. My issues with binge eating have nothing to do with anything other than willpower. I just have to stop eating and I\u2019ll be fine. Once I lose the weight, my life will be better.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Anger<\/strong>: This is ridiculous. Life seems really hard all of a sudden. I have all these uncomfortable feelings. I don\u2019t know why I had to stir up all of these emotions. There was no reason to do it. I hate this. Bingeing is better than sitting with these emotions.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bargaining<\/strong>: I think that I can reasonably go back on a low carb diet and lose the weight without having to go through all of this recovery bullshit. If I just start now, I\u2019ll lose the weight and everything will be fine.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Depression<\/strong>: This is never going to be better. I\u2019m always going to be stuck in this disease.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Acceptance<\/strong>: What I\u2019ve been doing for all these years, dieting and bingeing and purging and starving and eating my emotions hasn\u2019t worked. I&#8217;m in the same exact place as I was when I began. Maybe even worse because now I have to deal with my eating issues too.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m going to try and let go and surrender to my recovery and take care of myself emotionally in a way that I haven\u2019t done before. It will be challenging, but in the long run, my life will be better for it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>For people around you, the grieving process might look like this:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Denial<\/strong>: Great! She\u2019s starting another diet again. I\u2019m sure that it will fail miserably the way all of her diets do. Whatever, there\u2019s no reason for me to be scared, nothing is going to change. She\u2019ll be eating nachos with me the second I see her.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Anger<\/strong>: What\u2019s wrong with her? When I asked her to do me this favor, she refused. That\u2019s not fair, she has always done the things that I\u2019ve asked her to do. But now that she\u2019s in recovery she\u2019s trying to take care of herself? That feels really bad. Where am I? Why is she neglecting me? If she is taking care of herself, then who will take care of me?<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bargaining<\/strong>: Maybe I\u2019ll take her out to dinner to a meal that I know she usually binges on. I know that she won\u2019t be able to refuse and then things will be the way they used to.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Depression<\/strong>: Things will never be the same. I lost my best friend. I\u2019m alone and lonely and I have no idea who I am.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Acceptance<\/strong>: Just because she\u2019s taking care of herself doesn\u2019t mean that I can\u2019t take care of myself. If she\u2019s really my friend, I will feel happy for her, not threatened and jealous. I understand that it has been a hard transition and change for me, but as I support her in her recovery, I can also support myself in being more independent. Without food and favors and resentment between us, our friendship can be more pure and deeper.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Hopefully this won&#8217;t happen, but unfortunately, there is a possibility that\u00a0 you might lose one or two friends in the process of recovery. Those are the friends that were so invested in you being sick because it gave them a sense of who they were or even made them feel better about themselves. They are unable to accept that you are getting better. Those friends who you lose deserve\u00a0 compassion because they are uncomfortable in their skin and need you to be sick to feel better about themselves rather than working from within and taking care of themselves. Though you can feel compassion, you don\u2019t need to take care of them. That\u2019s an inside job.<\/p>\n<p>Think about what your grieving process around recovery looks like. What are you leaving behind? How will you cope with that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Saying goodbye to an eating disorder isn&#8217;t easy&#8211; that&#8217;s an understatement. There is a giant grieving process that goes along with it. When you decide to let go of binge eating, you are letting go of something that you feel has been a best friend, a lover, an ally, always there when you need it, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4688,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,12,13,17,21,23],"tags":[46,96,104,105,108,155,183,212],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Binge Eating Therapy - Help for binge eating, bulimia, obsessive dieting and body image issues<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/the-grief-of-recovery\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Grief Of Recovery - Binge Eating Therapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Saying goodbye to an eating disorder isn&#8217;t easy&#8211; that&#8217;s an understatement. 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